I was saddened to read (on Jane Brocket's blog) that the garden writer Elspeth Thompson had died at the age of 48. Upon following the links, I read Elspeth's blog and the heartbreaking post by her husband. It linked to an obituary page where one found out she had committed suicide... leaving behind a husband and five year old child.
My heart went out to her, one who lived among Beauty but whose soul was filled with despair. As one who has visited that land before... where life as it is at the time is too painful... I wished she had known my Crutch. (Nothing in her blog or obituary gave that indication.)
I remember as a new Christian hearing people say "religion is only a crutch for weak people". At that time... in my youth and well able to fight any such challenges... I would argue with them. As the years went by and the storms of life came and went, I came to realize they were right. Except I would say that yes... I am weak... it is the Person my faith worships who is my Crutch... religion alone can be shallow and without peace.
My own visitations into the realm of despair came after developing a chronic illness, when physical fatigue opened the door to depression. I was actually quite relived when a specialist told me depression is common among Juvenile Diabetics due to the physical challenges it brings to the body.
Now, I'm a rather sanguine person and the visits into despair were short lived. When I would realize the symptoms of darkness of soul and that feeling that life will never again be full of joy, I would run toward my Crutch. That's what He came to earth for... why he died and was Resurrected... to bring me into the right relationship with the Father... to allow the Holy Spirit to live within and give strength to the weary soul.
Yes, He is my Crutch in this life. I wish Elspeth had that Source to draw upon in her life. Perhaps she did but the darkness was so deep, she couldn't see the Light.
He understands despair and doesn't tell us to pull ourselves together and keep going with our own strength. He, who fed the Prophet and caused him to rest when wanting to die, who calmed the soul of the king with the music of the shepherd, and asked the Apostle to take care of his earthly mother (knowing her grief)... He knows we are made of dust.
I wonder if the joy of life would have returned to Elspeth as the earth is being renewed, grass is growing, spring flowers are blooming, and the sun's warmth is felt on our face again.
As for me... I take joy as He who is everything to me... the Crutch on which I lean on throughout life... and thank Him that He is there to hold my hand when walking through the Valley of the Shadow of Death.
Because He lives... so do I.
Picture: Corpus Christi, Texas... photographer my friend BB
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